i suppose i could post an entry. it has been frages. i've just started honours. it seems to be a bit like an iceburg, quite lovely from the top, small and manageable, covered with penguins, disguising a cold, menacing, disproportionate lower half, waiting to tear a hole right in the side of your lovely ship, and watch dispassionately as your inner glow slowly leaks out.
hm. maybe i should start doing something a little more productive like actually starting some sort of research. bah! tomorrow will be the day i begin to shine, academically speaking. i will move into my studio, and visit the library and convince myself to be a new shining beacon of responsibility and applicationaristominily. apply myself for a change. rather than aplicate myself, which although more visually interesting in the short term, far less productive long term.
last night i was half kidding with karl and said we should shirk responsibility and sleep in this morning. (i had work at 9am, he had class at 8:30am) at 9:05 karl gets out of bed, i wake up and FREAK OUT. i rushed to the bathroom slur to him that i'm late for work and then get in the car and drive to work half dressed. karl is pissed cos he skipped class because he thought i was sleeping in too. my boss is pissed because i was late and really quite dishevelled. and now i am just plain bemused at the whole morning and contemplating eating charity candy for breakfast. which is healthier, a treat-sized cherry ripe or mixed bag of fruit-shaped lollies?
interesting how the moods of one entire week can be eclipsed by a single moment; just the fact that my parents made it to my first exhibition opening in melbourne has changed my whole week. they keep making me want to move back home. i am just so ridiculously happy to have them as my folks. they were always great, but it is true, it does take a while for adult children/parent relationships to crystallize into something truly grand. i love them heaps and stuff.
on another note, the exhibition was okay. my work didn't sell, but only two peoples did and their work was well shite (and also bought by their parents). sorry, but it's true. also my ex-lecturer geoff completely snobbed me. motherfucker. he uses the excuse that he doesn't recognise students as a reason to snob them, but i said hi geoff and he said hi kat back, sneered and then turned away. MOTHERFUCKER. there is no excuse for that. i'm so sick of the art scene. for me now, it's all about the studio, because the gallery scene is just awful. it's just a whole group of people being awkward around each other. gah!
i'm happier and also a lot sadder at the moment. i miss my oma and have all these regrets about not geting to know her better, or visit her more often. i never even gave her any of my art. and now there's juliot. poor juilot. i could've done so much more for him. i could've brushed him, ridden him or loved him a bit more. my poor mum, she's lost so much these past two weeks i don't know how she's keeping it all together.
i'd like to thank my no-class missing, okay oral presentation drug supports:
difflam throat lozengers kleenex aloe vera tissues ventolin seritide chemists own cold and flu tablets codral cold and flu tablets (not quite as smooth as the chemists own brand) and lastly but definetly not leastley...RIKODIENE cough syrup.
because of all this drug-based help, not only was i able attend ALL MY CLASSES, i also SLAM DUNK SMASHED my oral presentation on lucio fontana. due to the rikodiene however, i can't actually remember much of these past two weeks.
in actual news, i am well on my way to doing honours next year. i am so busy at the moment that i am doing something ALL THE TIME. i don't get to just sit anymore.
it was so hot and sticky, and my GOD it was humid.
ended up backstage at blues fest, that was odd. i don't like making up fruit baskets. overheard some awesome blues musicians talking to another about their amp wattage. one said something about thinking about going up to 1000 watt. they other guy said he could hear the 900 off the side of the stage. i chimed in with the fact that my amp is only 30 watts, to which one replied that it didn't matter because he saw my set and thought it was still really good. hm. don't remember playing anything. at all.
karl landed a job out of his work. yay for him.
we nearly died in mullambimby. talk about fucking wolf creek. oh my god we were tossing up between being scared for our lives and being dissapointed at the lack of facilities. -there were old abandoned tents strewn between the trees, cars covered in blankets of dust and three creepy inhabitants, one of which laughed like john jarrett. oh yeah, the ground was too hard (rocks) to put tent pegs into, and the air bed died. we left at the crack of dawn. never, EVER again.
tweed heads is rather old timer sterile, but nice it was really nice to stay in a place that felt secure after macca's. swam in the pool in the rain, karl cooked amazing prawn/chicken yumminess on the bbq. GECKOS. in a word, pleasant.
brisbane is absolute shite. visited the andy warhol exhibition, which was well cool, but got severly lost in brisbane, and the nightmare of where to park made me cry.
nimbin sucks harder than anything else. supid poser hippies and youths who just want to rip people off. don't mention the word hash.
sandon is wonderful. i want back. the river meeting the sea and an island you can walk to. karl caught his first fish, a little yellowtail bream. i toasted my first marshmellows. sigh.
gosford is sebastapol by the sea. stupid westie bogans who will either threaten you with smashing your fucking face in if you take a photo with them in it, or drink in the park next to your car (in an alcohol exclusion zone). oh, and the fake cafe's charge real cafe prices, yet serve you reaheated bacon and don't know what hollandaise sauce is.
canberra -what were they thinking? yet another city that i ended up in tears in. stupid town planner. motherfucking town planner. WHY dear god is it like that??? so many turny bits and bridges and roads that should go straight, and no actual shops. just damn public buildings of interest. the redeeming quality has to be the art gallery. damn that is a fine gallery.
for all of you who don't know, i'm in therapy. and it's gah. not bad gah, just gah. maybe even a little bit of hm and a few tears.
turns out its not all olivia's fault i'm crying some of the time and all that. TURNS out i've been screwed up since i was FOUR. but it's not all bad. i feel calmer and i've had a few talks with a few people and things seem to be going okay.
hello to one and all from my new job! it's fun, the other people are great and the work doesn't seem tooooo daunting although there is a lot to learn. how's everyone going? haven't seen many of you in ages. hope all is well. x